Beyond Behaviors Book Study: Ch. 1

I have been in education for 23 years.  In all that time, I have been trained in everything from Guided Reading to Physical Education strategies.  Never, have I been offered a training in social emotional education or dealing with challenging behaviors.  Since the dawn of time, we have been using punishments and rewards to get others to do what we want.

One day, I came to work and I felt like there has to be more than this.  The world is different and the children in it are different.  There must be something more to get children to be more cooperative in class.   
I've heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

 There are countless variations of punishment and reward systems and I did not want or need another.

By chance, I happened to find this book by Dr. Delahooke and I knew I had to read it.  This coupled with my study of Conscious Discipline by Dr. Bailey has led me to a new way of looking at discipline.

  Using our knowledge of how the brain works to think about behavior is truly innovate and moves us into the 21st century!  

I am so excited to be doing this book study! I hope you will join me and leave me a comment about your thoughts!

According to Dr. Delahooke, we make three errors when we address behaviors. 

1. We don't try to find the cause of the behavior.

2. We don't individualize our approach.

3. We don't use a developmental approach.

Why are so many students expelled? We mistakenly believe that behavior is intentional, when it is actually a reaction to a stressor.  We try to reason with the child before they are developmentally ready.   

We need to determine if the behavior is intentional or a response to stress.

Supports put in place must be suitable for the individual, taking into consideration how individual interprets the environment.

Expecting a child to "calm down" and "use your words" when they do not yet have the ability will not bring about the desired results. When polled over 50% of parents believed children under three have impulse control and over 30% think a child under two has this ability. These skills only develop in children after reaching neurodevelopmental milestones. 

To find success in helping children develop emotional regulation is to create an atmosphere of safety and connection. Adults who are helpful with co-regulation will help children develop theses skills.

Dr.  Becky Bailey of Conscious Discipline has developed a curriculum called the Feeling Buddies which helps adults teach children to regulate. 

A DEVELOPMENTAL ICEBERG

We only see the tip of the iceberg when we look at outside behaviors.  Looking under the iceberg helps adults make a mind shift.  Instead of judging behaviors, we seek to find what is happening in the mind and body.  These include sensations, emotions, memories, ideas, developmental capabilities- the causes of what you see.  

By AWeith - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link


Unfortunately, we as teachers, have not been trained to understand the "complexity of the body-mind-brain connection."


The polyvagal theory, in an extremely simplified version, is the way person responds and regulates stress.  Continual behavior problems attest that a child is adaptively responding to different forms of stress.  The nervous system trying to adjust to stressors to find relief.  Simply put, it is survival instinct in action. 

Further, social engagement is the newest and most adaptive of neurophysiological states, yet it is still driven by the need to find safety when we feel threatened.

Those that suffer faulty neuroception, due to trauma or a susceptible nervous system, may over or under perceive a situation as  dangerous.  Therefore these reactions come in the form of behavior challenges.  

In neuroscience, the need for safety is a prerequisite to thinking.  To engage students, we must build a connection.

Kenneth Wesson, neuroscience education consultant, says "Emotional safety is a school requirement and priority." 


This information calls for teachers to make a mind shift from student compliance to creating emotional, relational safety.

"'I have a discipline problem.' No! You have an engagement problem."-Kenneth Wesson


This very idea can be summed up with this quote from Dr. Becky Bailey's book Conscious Discipline, "Our brains are wired to connect, attune with, resonate with and learn from each other.  For this reason, a child must be able to answer the questions "Am I safe?" and "Am I loved?" in the affirmative... (p.172)"


Next week: Chapter 2:  Top Down or Bottom Up?